Scientists Agree To Stop Using Unborn Fetuses In Experiments

The U.S. has has a long history of patriots fighting tooth and claw against issues surrounding the defenseless youth, including abortion issues and using those same unborn fetuses in experiments. Now, the latest episode in the battle against advancement comes from a brave group, the Idahoan Rights Collective, using all their might to pressure scientists from the Idaho Bleekly Institute to finally give up using aborted fetuses in their experiments.

The institute released a statement last Monday, claiming “At the Idaho Bleekly Institute, we have always aimed towards the understanding of the human body, the progress of the human race, and the benefit of social knowledge, but the pressure of certain groups is becoming too much for our Institute to withstand, and we must accept change or crumble.”

The Idahoan Rights Collective, commandeered by local woman Mandy Hudson, explained how her group had managed to pressure the Idaho Bleekly Institute into accepting their changes: “There are hundreds of abandoned and unwanted children in all states that the government just can’t feed, from teen pregnancies, affairs, secret government scandals, from everywhere! Why not give them purpose in life? This way, the scientists can stop using illegal fetuses, and together the U.S. can really benefit from the pro-life way of thinking.”

The Idaho Bleekly Institute will assume this change effective immediately, and has already set up ties with local hospitals and adoption centers to continue their studies with a minimal loss of time. A spokesperson for the Institute, Dr. Frank Mercer, commented that “The changes are certainly going to affect a lot of the studies, as much of the work performed here is based on understanding biology at an early stage of development. However, this will certainly be a fresh take on our current understanding of the human body, and may provide exciting new perspectives to work from.”

As for the Idahoan Rights Collective, Mrs. Hudson already has their next plans in the works, proudly stating they will continue working tirelessly to cease developments through analogous changes, tackling issues such as corruption in the local PTA and immigration from neighboring states.