Imaginary Friends To Keep Green Card Status

In the midst of the uncertainty surrounding rumours of legal citizens losing their Green Card status and recent isolated deportations, government officials have confirmed that “Imaginary friends, no matter their country of origin, will not lose their green card status”, much to the relief of many pre-college organisations and their attendees.

According to a White House spokesperson, many government officials themselves were worried about their own imaginary friends’ statuses, and after many meetings, they voted in favour of imaginary friends not having their legal status revoked. One official took to the internet to comment his approval of the decision, remarking that his imaginary family, who immigrated several years ago from Canada, would be allowed to stay.

It’s not just top officials who are expressing their support online though, as this decision has been celebrated nationwide: One relieved citizen commented on an internet forum: “Yayyyy billy can stay and we kan watch utube 2getha!”, and another remarking “im so hapi this is gud gobernemtnal citzen care”.

Of course, as with any government decision, not everyone will be satisfied with the outcome. We interviewed one young man, Javier, in his assigned holding camp before visiting family in his home country, who explained through tears that: “Gerardo doesn’t have to [visit] Venezuela with me so he’s staying behind with our neighbours the Wilsons”. We reached out to the Wilson family for comments but they were unavailable, although we’re sure young Master Wilson is enjoying time spent with his new friend Gerardo.

Now more than ever, we know that this decision will be a positive note in the face of the current uncertainty, providing stability and consistency to the younger generations who need to learn and rely on true friendship and the connections that make our country great.